Always
by PsychoticDitz
Summary: *DM/HP SLASH* A song fic to Saliva's "Always." Disclaimer: I own neither song nor Harry Potter. So there.


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I hear... a voice say "Don't be so blind"...   
it's telling me all these things...   
that you would probably hide...   
am I... your one and only desire...   
am I the reason you breathe...   
or am I the reason you cry...   


When it had first stared, they'd both been so confused. What was right? What was wrong? What mattered? 

Nothing. Nothing mattered except being together. Whether they were fighting or fucking, it seemed the only thing that could hold back the storm clouds brewing on the horizon was each other and that was enough. At least, it was in the beginning.

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Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...   
I just can't live without you...   
  
I love you...   
I hate you...   
I can't get around you...   
I breathe you...   
I taste you...   
I can't live without you...   
I just can't take any more...   
this life of solitude...   
I guess that I'm out the door...   
and now I'm done with you...   


Harry felt like he was being torn into pieces. First there was Dumbledore preparing him for the final battle, placing all the pressure on Harry's shoulders. But it had always been Harry's burden right? 

Then there was Ron and Hermoine asking if he was alright, trying to get him out of the castle, trying to get him to play Quidditch or chess to take his mind off of things- as if any of that mattered anymore. Because it didn't, and the only thing that could take his mind off of things was…

Draco. But where was he? Whose side was he on? They didn't discuss it. It: the war. No, they didn't talk about that. They didn't talk about anything really, but that was okay. Who wanted to talk if you could be snogging? But they were getting pulled apart farther and farther every day by unspoken loyalties and the strain of keeping it all a secret. Harry didn't need to worry about that right now though, so he did what he was best at. He ignored it also.

__

  
I feel... like you don't want me around...   
I guess I'll pack all my things...   
I guess I'll see you around...   
Its all... been bottled up until now...   
as I walk out your door...   
all I hear is the sound...   


He had known it couldn't last. They both knew it, but now that the time was finally here for them to part, Draco wasn't sure he could do it. The worse part was, Harry didn't even seem to care. While Draco had been counting down their final days together at Hogwarts, Harry had been off doing things with the Order day and night. What was supposed to be their only time together was now time spent apart, brooding and concocting plans for opposite sides of a war. But Harry didn't even notice?

__

  
Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...   
I just can't live without you...   
  
I love you...   
I hate you...   
I can't get around you...   
I breathe you...   
I taste you...   
I can't live without you...   
I just can't take any more...   
this life of solitude...   
I guess that I'm out the door...   
and now I'm done with you...   
  
I love you...   
I hate you...   
I can't live without you...   


And so they finished their seventh year. There was no ceremony or goodbye party. Now was not the time for celebration. When Harry got off the train with Ron and Hermoine, he realized something had been different about their last ride. Draco hadn't visited them. Not once. And now Harry would never get to say goodbye. No kiss. No fight. Suddenly he felt empty. So very empty.

__

  
I left my head around your heart...   
Why would you tear my world apart...   
  
Always... always... always... always...   
  
I see... the blood all over your hands...   
does it make you feel... more like a man...   
was it all... just a part of your plan...   
the pistol's [wand's] _shakin' in my hands...   
and all I hear is the sound...   
_

The final battle. Harry hadn't seen Voldemort… yet. He knew it was just a matter of time and fired another curse at a Death Eater. Just another hooded figure, but as it went down in a slump, he couldn't help wondering if it was _him._ He was trying to force the thought out of his head when he saw a flash of platinum out of the corner of his eye. Instinctively he turned toward it and saw him. Draco: his pale coloring caused him to glow like an angel of death amidst all of this death and destruction. A streak of dried blood stained his cheek. The ice blue of his eyes was the last thing Harry saw as a curse hit him from behind.

__

  
I love you...   
I hate you...   
I can't live without you...   
I breathe you...   
I taste you...   
I can't live without you...   
I just can't take any more...   
this life of solitude...   
I guess that I'm out the door...   
and now I'm done with you...   
  
I love you...   
I hate you...   
I can't live without you...   


Draco woke in his cell at Azkaban. Day three, he thought bitterly. Of course the good side had won the war, thanks to Dumbledore, but their shining star had died in the process. He had been Draco's shining star too, but that didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore because Draco was alone again. As Always.

__

  
I love you...   
I hate you...   
I can't live without you...   
I just can't take any more...  
this life of solitude...   
I pick myself off the floor...   
and now I'm done with you...   
Always...  
Always...   
Always...  



End file.
